Surrender

Surrender

Where are the guideposts? 

Where are the signs, 

Or the hand for which I grope? 

What are the reasons 

For struggling on? 

Who can offer hope?

My dreams are lost in memory’s mist; 

My hopes, replaced by fears 

Happiness has lost its chance, 

My courage drowned in tears. 

Fear and pain possess my soul; 

I’m ready to surrender. 

Still looking for a spark of hope, 

But pain’s all I remember. 

My virtue has become my shame; 

My truth has turned to evil; 

The world has twisted every good 

And made my soul seem shameful. 

And yet I know I’ve done no wrong. 

Should I accept their blame? 

“Not guilty!” screams my innocense! 

While I bow my head in shame. 

“Surrender!” cries my lonely heart, 

“You’ve fought them long enough.” 

“Surrender!” cries my wounded soul, 

“Stop acting like you’re tough!” 

Some feeling rises in my soul 

Of courage just remembered…. 

Heroes always struggle on 

To what do I surrender? 

Grey lies that hate my shining hopes 

And call my virtue shame…. 

I can’t surrender to their scorn; 

I won’t accept this blame! 

Virtue will always be my guide; 

And truth will give the signs; 

Joy is the reason for struggling on; 

And hope will again be mine. 

Ruth Desjardins 

1977